Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Garden city-

Saturday was a special day. We planted our garden. Our back door leads to a cement patio, surrounded by a foot of dirt all the way around the patio. We have four chairs back there..but they're stacked because there isn't much room. However, once the plants start sprouting, I'm sure we'll just sit and watch them grow.

If you'll remember, we commandeered a bucket of sand from the beach a while back and dumped it in one of the boxes. Saturday, when we started spreading it with our trowel, we found a trove of cat feces. I could not have imagined a bigger stash fitting into such a small pile of sand.

We've never seen any cats around here, and our garden is surrounded by a tall fence, so we were surprised to find out cats even go back there. Blessings. Anyways, we got rid of all the sand. After we'd filled the boxes with dirt and planted them, Charles put a net over the garden and hopefully that will keep them out.

We mixed 5 types of compost, vermiculite, and peat moss. It's 1 part each, to make a good mix for plants to grow in. SLO apparently has really good soil anyway, but we didn't want to give the plants any reason to deny us results. Plus, the weather here is really fine.

We planted cantaloupe, tomatoes, green beans, peas, cucumbers, peppers, broccoli, spinach, onions, chives, basil, oregano, parsley, cilantro, and brussels sprouts. I know, it sounds like a lot of plants, but we're hoping to get quite a spread of plants to grow. If there's inadequate sunlight for our plants to thrive, we will find out soon enough.

We did a square-foot garden. I'll send some pictures later. Thanks America, for the book. We'll bring it back at Thanksgiving.

Out of the three available sections, we only planted two. The right and back sides are all ready to grow. The left side has no dirt yet- we ran out of vermiculite and wanted to stay in budget. Maybe next month/year we'll finish everything.


This morning, Charles looked in the garden and saw a big hole. Something was digging in there. It's on. I have heard cayenne will cause cats to scratch their eyes out. Believe me, it's tempting. Or we could put our own scent onto the fence- so our backyard could smell like an outhouse. Or we could boil pepper and pour it around. We're also thinking about broken glass bottles. I saw that all over the place in Guatemala and we're both quite taken with the idea. More news when it comes.

Boo on cats.

Friday, September 26, 2014

The tiny green alien bug-

Yesterday, while reading at the red lights on my way home, a tiny green alien bug hopped onto my hand. Did I mind? No. Did it bother me in the slightest? No. That got me thinking about Cockroaches. Would I have killed it immediately, probably also wrecking my car and killing five other people in the process? Most definitely. I hate cockroaches. Like a lot. When I kill them, I think about the future millions I kept from populating this earth, and somehow my own personal residences by proxy. Yow, those plague bugs give me the willies.

But what about that tiny little green alien bug? We'll call it a bugreelien. I just let it bounce up my fuzzy arm. Then onto my book, and shooed it away from a good pressing with my bookmark when the light turned green. Look at me all warm and thoughtful.

Now it's someplace in my car, roasting. Perhaps you would like to taste a bugreelien smore. I'll send one to you.

Wednesday was game night for the boys at our house. Well, the manchild. So I watched an A&E movie and burning my fingers off as he unwound. Was it worth it? I'll let you know at Christmas. However, I did immerse my wounded fingers in cold water, suffocated them in waves of aloe vera, and stopped crafting about 15 minutes into my 220 minute movie. I told you, it was an A&E movie. They need all that time for plot development.

I couldn't continue crafting anyways, my fingers were out of commission. Or rather, my left index finger and my right thumb, were out. They're fine now. Thanks for asking.

I need to also fix my purse straps- or get a new purse. When gophers chew through your purse straps in the night; or when pleather has had too much use; you've got to get creative.

On a side note, we didn't rack up any points this week- I was battling a cold and Charles wounded one of his legs while stepping into a bear trap.. or walking all over campus this week. One of those two, I can't remember which is the right one.

That's ok, we didn't eat any treats this week. We did, however, feast like kings since Charles has been such a gracious dinner maker. Not only does he make me dinner, he also lets me read books when I get home from work. He's a suitor.

Oh, I guess I forgot to mention our trip to Irvine last weekend. It was a blast. Our nephew and niece are adorable. Noelle sounds like Minnie Mouse and Blake love the game Mastermind- very fitting, since that's where I work.

I also found I'm no match for my brother-in-law Paul at Scrabble- which could be one of the reasons neither Charles nor Paul's wife Melanie would play. It might stem from the fact I never play for points and he always does. Learned gaming skills. Paul also makes up words. Fact. Then he Googles them. I shouldn't be sore about it, we always did that growing up- but we used the 100 yr old fat dictionary to check words. We never got penalized for challenging- another rule introduced last weekend. The Scrabble Wars have begun.

We also played pirate Life- which Charles won instinctively- since he's a love pirate. Also, we went swimming and had a lovely time. Have you ever waltzed in the pool? You should try it some time. I don't know if Charles loves it as much as me, but I adore it. I know he doesn't like dancing much, but I think it's safe to say he excels and therefore also adores water waltzing.

Needless to say, we had a blast! Not only did the Wards make us feel welcome, but Melanie, Paul's wife,also has a welcoming and loving family we saw over our weekend adventure. It was fun to catch up with them and eat their delicious food. We were well taken care of the whole Irvine trip. Thanks Wards and Schulls!

Thursday, September 25, 2014

Who do I know in France?

Google told me today 21 people checked my blog from France. Thank you very much my lovely French fans. I hadn't realized my blog posts were internationally read. Well, keep reading and eat some pastries for me. Oh, I know about French pastries. I've had some experiences with them and my sister ate them all the time for breakfast during her mission for the LDS church.

In other news, I'm ruminating about my hair. Usually when I do that, it's a good time for a trim. Better a trim than a hedge clipping. If you ask my immediate family to confirm, they will agree I have a hair cutting compulsion. Sometimes I just cut through everything into baldness. Then I can do crazy and fancy things with my hair instead of feeling burdened by the difficulty of brushing and styling my luxurious locks.

Charles knows I can be a little obsessive about certain things and a touch melodramatic. He also loves my long hair. I recently asked him how straight of a cutter he is. He said average thereby failing his first test ever. After asking why, answer: to save us $20, he got a worried look on his face. Why you look so worried Charlie?

Yesterday, I shared a cutting clip with Charles on Facebook. Later that night, while Charles was in the oblivion of homework, I took my weekly shower and pinned my hair back. I did it to remind myself how I looked with short hair. I don't necessarily want to have short hair, I just need a break from having all this hair everywhere, all the time. I settled into the couch and read my book.

When Charles finished his homework, he came over to say hi and had a heart attack. Poor guy. Apparently my hair pinning looked terribly realistic and with his knowledge of my low impulse control he even felt the knot behind my head a couple times to make sure I hadn't pulled a 4 yr old trick. I have since been commanded to get a trim today of two inches and to forget the hacking impulses of yesterday. Ah, young love.

On a similar note, I am a reading addict. I love to read. To read is my friend. To read and I like to hang out. We can spend the whole day together and still want to interact at night. Woot. To read and me forever and always.

When I was younger I would get my name on the board for reading during lessons. I wouldn't realize my teacher had started on lessons after our spelling tests and so Kimberly was placed next to me to wake me out of my reading stupors.

I would walk the hallways of my middle school, erstwhile reading novels during passing periods. There's only so much time and there are many books. Don't waste this precious commodity by walking or eating without a book. Such was my motto. (Sometimes instead of walking, I run. Same reason).

I know, I'm a total weirdo. At least now I go to bed at a normal time instead of reading until 3. I've done that before. Now I have a job, so I can't spare the sleep. I do need like 9 hours a night to function normally. So nice.

Friday, September 19, 2014

Ya, das es goot-


Yarrrgghh! Ahoy me mateys. I wish to tell ye of a fair tale. Not everyone knows of the like, but I be meet'in donuts in my dreams tonight. Wherrrrre? Well, of courrrrse, the Krispy Kreme is what the place be. Don't furgett to eat some greens, so yourselves not be getting scurrvy. Yo ho ho.

Sorry, now that I've cleared my throat a bit, here's the real me voice. Last night I was going to record my voicemail differently. However, when I listened to it, I left it the same. You never know who's going to call you and who wants to stumble through 20 different versions of the same recording? Nobody, that's who. And you know when somebody calls, she's not going to want to leave a message for nobody. Especially if nobody has an obnoxious voicemail. Somebody does. I know that from personal experience.

I sent out an email to my brothers and sister visiting for Christmas this year. I know, it's early. I sometimes just get too excited to contain it all. Then I write and write and write and then I'm all right. Right? Rrrright.

Why you should..earrings

1. Showing off- You have some cool turtle ones nobody has ever seen

2. Economy- Why else did you buy them?

3. Timing- No children yet to pull them out

4. Fancy- They go well with everything (except exercise)

5. Gussy up-You don't do your hair; you have time to push little nails into your ears

6. Convenience- An easy check on the pirate costume list

7. Jewelry is so in- You can't handle bracelets

8. Pretties up your Yoda appendages- It's better than ear polish

9. Accessory lady- You've seen that girl and she looks good

10. Nothin' doin'- You don't have to have pierced ears. I have some clip-ons I put on every once in a blue moon.

Did you know there's a complain tab while I write this? What am I going to complain about?Writer's block?

You could complain, but what would you complain about? I just told you a bunch of great reasons to accessorize yourself. You're welcome.

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Fancy Animals-

What am I talking about? What are you talking about?

I have long looked for an outlet for my creative energy. My hair's getting too long to twist into bobbys and I don't paint nails well. Ask Bonnie.

A couple years ago, I was enticed into taking a bunch of material trimmings, buttons, lace and such home from a church activity. Oh the trickery. In an attempt to keep from hoarding it all for centuries, I began making fancy animals. My mom always had us do projects during movies, so I held onto that habit, much to the chagrin of King Charles.

                                Mustache Cat likes to be fancy by Maruuco on deviantArt

Well, I don't make fancy animals. They usually make themselves actually, like clay. I start sewing pieces of material together, and they form themselves into different animals. My brother Christian told me I could only make them if I gave them away, so I didn't become a crazy stuffed animal lady. I decided to listen to his sagely advice, and do not own any myself, but Charles has an anteater stitched with his initials on the side.

It was supposed to be a goat, but it turned into an anteater due to its snout. I don't control what comes from this genius, it just happens. So far I've made an owl- the first- for a much-missed roommate. I've made a platypus, an alligator, an anteater, a turtle, a seahorse, and a couple others which I cannot specifically recall.

That's the thing about fancy animals. I've tried making requested animals before, but they usually turn into something else in the middle- due to minimal planning I'm sure. I think of them with fondness, children of my hands. They could always use more glitter and I've thought about using them as cozies- a syrup bottle turned my fancy last week. Can you imagine getting your own syrup cozy? That wouldn't be messy, but splendid I trow.

Spoiler: Coming soon, Christmas 2014.

As interest has been expressed by SLO natives, we may be starting a fancy animals night. Perhaps Wednesday nights, since I've heard those are the new game nights of certain male relations.

Friday, September 12, 2014

Breaking Bad- no breaking good!

Actually, I fully realize breaking things is bad. Well, most things besides bad habits. Those are difficult to break and good. Howevs, I keep breaking things all over the place. You can now call me Allabreaka.

I just broke a glass by attempting to put it into the cupboard. How? By tapping it against the shelf quite innocently. Did little slivers shoot into my hand and arm in 5 countable spots? Yes. Am I still alive? Barely.

My first day at this new job, I broke a sister cup- by knocking over my water. Granted, these are the cheap cups of the world. They're no mugs if you know what I mean.

I now use a smoky, higher grade of cup. Unfortunately, my clumsy self prefers glass/ceramic to plastic. I can taste the plastic in child grade cups;  that's the reason. I drink water essence of beauty in my liquid and nothing else.

For now, since I'm a grownup, I can convince other adults I can handle glasses. Sometimes I can convince my friends. Sometimes not.

Last night, I convinced Charles to pop open my phone from the camera end and shattered the glass backing by proxy. Luckily, it missed his eyes. This break was unfortunate, since I actually liked that phone. Also fortunate, because we currently have Verizon, but are converting back to the more affordable T-mobile network. I hope it works...net of the time.

When I visited Jenny, I also spilled a load of ranch dressing on the table when I was trying to eat and talk on the phone at the same time.

What can I say? Clumsiness grows with you. Hooray!

Also, since I spit sometimes, I have to be careful. As you read in my previous post, it's not cool to spit in your hair. Not that I've ever done that, but if I had, I would have done it more than once. And that would be ultra uncool.

We have been compromised- Thanks Wellsy's-

Our credit cards did anyway. Luckily, Wells Fargo bank puts a hold on my credit card anytime I go on a trip. Usually it is highly annoying, but this time they actually got it right. Those crooks only got to Whole Foods and Benihana before the card was frozen. They also called Wells Fargo and reported a stolen/lost card and tried to get the bank to send another set of cards to them. Unluckily for them, they are idiots. When they got all the security questions wrong, the card was blocked. Thanks for being anal about blocking my credit card Wells Fargo.

They caught them soon enough that they're only out $300 because of the thieves. Thank goodness for that. Also, traveling to Venice and Santa Monica with my digits was stupid. You are really dumb. I hope they find you. Run and tell that.

Thieves- stop it! Somebody always has to pay for your laziness. Get a job for goodness sake and stop taking money from hardworking people. Shame on you. And shame on you for making me pay for your vast quantities of food intake. So dumb. So dumb.

Also, they didn't have my credit card- Charles and I both had ours safely stashed inside our wallets. Someplace online they got it. We hardly ever use the internet for purchasing. The old ones are shredded and we have new ones. With chips. Not excited about that my friends. I've heard things.

In other news, I found out that if your new CC has a chip, you can block scanners from getting your info. by lining your wallet with foil. Done and done.

Thursday, September 11, 2014

Double Cool-

I'll bet you had no idea about cool was until I published my last post. Well, now you're in the know. Perhaps.

Well, don't you think you're pretty cool? I've always felt on the cusp of cool, except at Girl's camp. I was ultra cool at camp. I think that's why everyone loves girls camp. No shortage of cool in the woods. Also, now that I'm grown up I feel like cool just comes with the territory. When I have kids, I will be sure to embarrass them as much as humanly possible. I'm that cool.

My favorite Girls camp projects

1. Pet rock
2. Pick up lines to the lifeguard
3. Infinitesimal possibilities
                                                             Make a mansion

I have always noticed that crafts look so much cooler when done by others. When I bring back my crafts, they never look quite as professional. What am I doing wrong? Here are some tips to making a professional looking craft.

1.  Have a dream- What excited you about this project in the first place?

2. Plan it out- On paper, put pins in your sewing, and sketch the general idea

3. Details- The more details you include, the closer people will look at the final product

4. Incorporate a fetish- Put something on there you love. That'll bring in your personal passion. Plus, you know what cool whateveryoulike's look like. Don't you?

5. Give it time- Nothing cool is made in an hour. If you know of anything, you let me know. I need some cool projects that take little/no effort. It's like those girls selling boondoggle at our last apartment complex- if it took you 10 minutes to make, it would take me the same amount of time.

6. Don't get carried away- Sometimes it's good to stop fiddling with your project and just look at it. If it's looking pretty good already, you don't want to overdo it. Get a second opinion if needed.

7. Would you buy it? Sorry boondogglers- unless it's outrageously cool, I probably will wait until my unborn children go to camp and get some for free.

8. Practice- The more you try, the better you will get. However, you mustn't get too frustrated if you're still not an expert after much practice.

9. Presentation- Just because you made something cool, doesn't mean you are finished. If you wish to display your new craft/treasure, put it in a spot people can study it.

10. Crafty crafters craft crafty crafts- That's about all you can handle right now.

Tune in next time.

Monday, September 8, 2014

Cool is in-

Here are some pictures taken of me at work. If you'll notice, the first picture my hair is tamed, the second shows what usually happens in my pictures.  In a futile attempt to give my hair body, I actually make random strands stick out all over my head. Luckily, I told the guy taking the picture and he let me know I should smooth it down a bit. Mom, this one's for you.

On another note, I still have a cold. Bother. I am trying to cough myself to death. Hopefully I won't do it. Wouldn't that be awkward. Who would answer the phones?

I made strawberry rhubarb sugar-topped breakfast cake yesterday and corned beef and cabbage. It was lovely. Charles and I are working on our points. I could always get more points though. You know how it is. 

We've been running every other day. It's only about 3.5 miles, but hopefully we can keep up our positive habits. We might even wear our hobbit habits.

JSYK- an informative list

1. Seahorses
Not Cool
2. Slugs

2. Crocodiles
Not Cool
2. Earwigs

3. Yoda
Not Cool
3. Having a cold

4. Detailed projects/Art
Not Cool
4. Uneven haircuts

5. Elf ears
Not Cool
5. Electric shock

6. Brownies
Not Cool
6. Spitting in your hair

Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Chilly chilly cheesecake-

We're trying to decide between United Healthcare health insurance and an HMO. I don't know  much about health care and insurance, but I know I've heard a lot of bad stuff about HMO's. So that's something. We will decide sometime this week. Two cents?

We're trying to switch over to T-mobile from Verizon. It's like 1/5 the cost and we're living on a smaller budget these days. What with the baby and..ha. There's no baby. But if we had a baby, we'd be running an even tighter ship. We'd just feed that baby milk all the time. Sorry baby.

I think we got a cold from that kid at church. He's a cute kid, but I hate his guts. Well, that's what happens when you breathe at church. Anyway, I wasn't feeling my 100% self last night, nor do I feel the best today. It doesn't help that our neighbors were doing a smoking intervention right next to our bedroom window at 2:30 am this morning. They talk quite loudly. He has been chain smoking and "That's not you". Apparently it is him. Maybe we'll invite them all to church.

They're also the guys who sing at the top of their lungs off their porch until 10:30 pm. We're obviously old farts- we are getting quite grumbly about it amongst ourselves. We need hobbies. Perhaps we'll give out some homemade gifts this year.

Neal, what do you want for Christmas? We'll send you a piece of water.

Charles and I discovered this new rap app. It's hilarious- smule.com. The Stacys that visited us this weekend showed us where it's at. Now we're a little cooler. You can be cool too. Just speak into your phone and it turns the words into rap magic. Get ready to waste some time- the first tune is the only free one. Don't get too crazy.

Tuesday, September 2, 2014

City slick-

Um, yes I did. I did borrow a large nature-ology book to finish my adult summer reading program. What do I win? I have to take everything back tomorrowish. So I will find out then- why it was all worth it.

Do I have any dogs? No.

Do I have any hots? Yes. I have the hots for Charles Ward. Next question.

We went to the beach Saturday. Forgive the other two posts. They're old, but I'm pretty positive they were never posted. Porgive me.

At the beach we slathered and slithered our way through loads of sunscreen. My shoulders were somehow missed, but we did a pretty good job. We went into the ocean. It took me 30 minutes and lots of friend encouragement.

Big thanks to the Stacys and Charles for pulling me in. It was cold, but worth it. You get used to it and it was a great experience. Pleasant even. The waves were perfect for body surfing. After we got in, many people starting following us- the early adopters- and there were many swallowed into the ocean.

Actually, it was Oceans of Fun and also made us pretty tired. We had good amounts of sunbathing time and we also walked around in our friendly group. Thanks for visiting Stacy N. and Stacey Henn. We had a great Labor Day weekend visit. We ate lots. Stacy treated us many times- due to our new rules about spending money. We could have eaten out of the fridge, but the Stacys are foodies. They kindly sponsored us and our budget. Thanks for helping our budgeting  resolve and thanks for feeding us!

Labor Day they went to Hearst Castle and we stayed home and watched Star Wars 3 & 4. We stayed home. This little piggy and that little piggy. Wee wee wee!


Candles strewn about the yard.

Vines swimming through soaring elms. Basking in the warmth of life and summer patterns.

Luxuriant chestnut locks grew from the ends of her fingertips, wrapping back around the crystal flesh of her hand and up her arm. She looked out through the dark eyes of a newborn. Her stare was blank and deep. Lundra.

Hair grew braided through the carpet in a symphony of lovingly maintained dreadlocks. The terror of any vacuum. They threaded through every crevice. Each chestnut hair interlocked, ducking through the spaces between each piece of inundated classical furniture, firmly tying each into a permanent hug.

I do not worry much about the sleep I get. I sleep quite a bit.

Never keep a pet pig-

Pigs are smelly. I know from experience. I lived by for three or so months during my mission in Guatemala. We smelled it for a while and saw it for a while. Then one day it was gone. Eaten. I like bacon, I have no qualms. Plus, bacon doesn't smell like pig. It has a different pervasive smell.

Another tip, don't touch fire. I don't know why you would try, but stop it.

We're moving to San Luis Obispo Friday. It hits me every once in a while and I feel sad. I know change is good and we'll meet a bundle of wonderful friends there, but change is always sad for me.

Charles has been wonderful. He exudes excitement about our move and has boxed most of our possessions up. He then goes to welding class Tues-Thurs 3-8 pm. He's a champ. Although we've known about this move for months, it has all happened rather quickly.

Last weekend my sister Cookie and her husband Jim came out for a wedding. We had loads of fun with them. It was also nice for Charles to get quality time with some of my family he doesn't know very well.