Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Wanted, hopefully alive

My oldest sister just had a baby. Sometimes babies look like aliens. This baby is beautiful. Good job for not looking like an alien straight out the gate beautiful baby. I saw her yesterday. She smiled at me. Thanks for smiling at me beautiful baby. I know giving birth isn’t going to kill me, but it sounds terrible.  The only thing that makes me want to make my own is my interaction with kids in Primary at church and seeing my own adorable nieces and nephews. The picture is actually my younger sister holding her.

Speaking of want, my suitcases want to be packed, even though we don’t leave until Thursday. I like packing early, because then I make believe I won’t forget anything essential for the trip. I started this morning.  Every time I take a vacation, I realize how nonessential clothes are.

I mean, yeah, bring a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt, but don’t bother bringing anything else. You probably won’t wear it. It’s Christmas! Live a little. By that, I mean wear the same clothes over and over until they smell and then change into something clean. It will make you appreciate them more. My husband doesn’t know that part of me yet.

Don’t get me wrong; I change my underwear. I learned from my Dad, at age 10 when I told him a splendid fact about my personal hygiene; that you’re supposed to change undies every day, not every week. Whether you need to or not.

So when we ghost around the Houston house for two weeks, wearing the same stuff, don’t be surprised Charles.

We also plan to run, because it’s warmer there. So let it be written, so let it be done. Then I can eat what I want and not feel guilty.  Besides, I need something to balance out my movie mosies. I want to run regularly through the break.

It's hard to know what people want for Christmas. Most people just say not to buy them anything, that love is enough. It is, but here's a little peek into our list this year.

Needs: Things you should just buy yourself at the store, but think maybe people could buy you for Christmas instead of random stuff you probably don’t need.

Luxuries: Things you like doing/having, but try not to do/have often because you’re budgeting.

Fancies: Things you would never think of yourself, but in hindsight are so grateful for. Like this baby. Not getting one for Christmas, but isn't she fancy?  

Ward! Whatchu want?

1. Needs:  collared Sunday white shirt, baseball cap, running socks, shoes, 2 car smog checks, jeans, sports bras.

2. Luxuries: movie tickets, chipotle/sushi/restaurant gift cards, movies, laptop, ipad, camera, movies, expensive chocolate- with caramel and pecans, cologne, trips, nose hair trimmers.

3. Fancies: You’re on your own people. That’s why they’re fancy. Everyone loves giving others fancies. It’s hard to think of good ones though, so often people get needs instead. Included here: hair accessories, jewelry, personalized gifts, services-vacuumed car, crocodiles.

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Weirdies united-

First, I want you to read this article about colonizing Mars: Chumps. The summary: there's a project in the works, planned by a Dutch company, which will cost 6 billion dollars to put 4 earthlings on Mars. Its estimated launch is 2018, would take 3.5 years to arrive, and participants could never come back to earth. 

Ok, now you're ready to read this blog. 

Are you kidding me? 200,000 people applied to be one of the four sent to Mars for the rest of their lives? Here's why I could never ever do that.

1. I like people: I have lived many places and met tons of people. How could I possibly live a planet away from all those people I know and love. Plus, there are so many more people I haven't met yet. This world is full of them. Mars= 0 new people besides my 3 comrades. If you can't stand the three other people you're sent with you will be miserable and lonely for the rest of your life. Have those people never seen Survivor? You'd have to be a +1 max introvert to go on this mission. Like a person who hides in the woods to be alone. 

2. I like warmth: I think to prepare these people, they should send them to Antarctica for 6 months. Everybody knows Antarctica is miserably cold and Mars is a whole heck of a lot further away from the sun than Antarctica. Maybe chuck polar bears at them until they've recovered pieces of their sanity.

3. I love my family: I've been away from relatives for years at a time. It's hard to stay away from everyone you know. Even friends. Can you imagine never seeing anyone again? Ever. Even for science. Don't get me wrong. It could be cool for a little while. 60 years? You'd have to really sell me on that one. Who hates all people and all animals? Send them away. We can't have that kind of person around here.

4. Boredom: If you're going to be away from everything for 60 years, you'd better pack some paperbacks. I'm talking serious games, movies, material, project supplies, and pray nothing essential is forgotten. Someone forgets the scissors and you're screwed for life.

5. I like comfort: Can you imagine having cancer, a baby, or diabetes on Mars? I know they'd screen for that before everyone left, but sometimes things happen when you're bored. Age happens. You'd have to be a serious scientist nut to go, because excitement will have to pull you along for a long time. Yippee hooray for science.

6. I love Earth: I love flowers, trees, animals, warmth, water, being outside. I love people, wind, the ocean. Mars is a cold desert. There's no ice cream on Mars. I've never been there, but I'm going to assume you're going to be eating lots of powdered, canned, and freeze dried food. Just eat your powdered spinach, you don't want to get Scurvy on Mars. 

7. Life is long: I know I mentioned this previously, but 60-70 years with three people I can't stand does not sound ideal. I suppose if you get along with them, that could work for a while. If I brought my wonderful husband, we could have lots of adventure time. Sorry lovey, I deny your request to move to Mars.

Ok. As long as those volunteers fully understand the huge commitment that no normal person would ever agree to. I might even watch the reality show they made out of it. I don't want them to fail. I just don't want them to go psycho crazy because of the other planet prison they agreed to be sent to. 

Charles, if you applied for us to go to Mars, and we got picked, I would cry every day. I would sure miss you. 

Tuesday, December 10, 2013


It has begun. I wore sweatpants to work today. So did Charles. It was cold outside and jeans are so cold in winter and I didn't want to break the frost off of them this morning. Anyway, I don't match, but I feel cozy today. Woot for soft pants.

For lunch I got orange chicken. Unfortunately, it turned out the place made jello chicken. Or so it seemed, as though the chicken had orange jello poured on and it hadn't hardened yet. I couldn't eat it. Honestly, I'm not a huge Chinese food fan anyway, but this was sub par food. Gross. I had to go to Subway for a meatball sub so I wouldn't starve to death.

Christmas gifts. I will now list what I'm getting everyone for this holiday spectacular. 

1. Owl- suckers. Of course I'm not going to write that list. People actually read this blog, including my husband, who totes thinks he's going to find out what I'm getting him before Christmas. False. 

2. I'm getting a niece. My sister's pretty excited to give birth and get that baby out. I can't say I blame her. Babies are heavy.

3. I've been drinking warm water lately. I know that's weird, but I can't quite bring myself to drinking freezing water when it's so cold outside.

4. Pudding cakes are delicious. I might have one today. Yum.

5. Crafts are pretty cool. I might have to endeavor in some crafting endeavors this week. Surprise!

6.  I have been going through books like magic. I didn't know it was such a breeze to get through books by tape. I always thought books on tape were lame. Now I am a regular book on tape listener toer. 

I LOVE CROCODILES. I love my husband. Sometimes my husband wants to wrestle me and I feel like I'm wrestling a crocodile because of his unwavering strength and agility. He's the youngest in his family and is really good at hassling a person into a brawl. Problem is I always lose in those brawls. I bite my bottom lip and lose with style. Those wrestling moods usually last about 20 minutes. I might get him a wrestle doll for Christmas. Don't tell him.