Although I do not currently reside completely behind it, it took me a while to build the wall.
Surely you know about feelings. I have them. I assume you have them. More recently, I have come to appreciate the importance of sharing your feelings in the right way, at the right time.
In a desperate attempt to cope during my changeover from English to the Spanish language, I made serious headway in the art of hiding one's feelings. It is, incoming understatement, indescribably difficult to switch languages completely and suddenly. Despite what my companions might have assumed, it is not as easy and artless as one would hope to alter a person's patters of communication on a whim.
You might previously have held important ideas. "I know things", you think. "It's bad to be late", you may panic. "We are not using our time effectively", one might suggest. These were all received with one word-"Paciencia". And with patience, the stones of silence were cemented. As I sat at my desk, waiting to leave, a brick was laid. While she brushed her hair and checked the mirror for the fourth time, I shoveled mortar into place. As we intentionally blew off a heartfelt invitation for no reason at all, I screamed in my head.
It is a lonely time in another country when caged inside your mind. Reading, praying, and writing letters only lets out so much of that wild emotion. Did I lose someone to their new baby? She never writes me. Does suffering make a person better? I often felt that it did not. However, if it did, I could only be the best.
Why do we make ourselves suffer so much? Even now I often visit my personal stress boutique.
Poor Charles. Now, when I cry, instead of sharing all those pent up feelings, I sit in silence and collect nothings together until they begin to form a pile of something. When I can finally express my burden of feeling into words, he calmly addresses those concerns individually with care and delicacy.
After these concerns are addressed with calm reason and maths, I watch them slowly dissipate into the mists around me and the tears are gone. Where did they come from? Where did they go? The devil is a pernicious one for trouble. He's is especially skilled at pulling fears from thin air.
My life is excellent and suddenly it turns, with nothing tainting my existence but fear and woeful ignorance of the future.
Therefore I say these things, though not lightly:
I hope the surgery went well. I love you.
I'm sorry about your brother. I love you.
I'm sorry we are not so close as we once were. I love you.
I shouldn't have pushed you backwards off the bench at the aquarium. I love you.
Sorry I'm crazy. I love you.
Stop worrying about coming home and be happy. I love you.
You work too much. I love you.
You are kind. I love you.
I went to a skater park and thought of you. Wear a helmet. I love you.
Keep making hats. I love you.
You have lots of kids. I love you.
They're lucky to have you. I love you.
He/she is thinking of you too. I love you.
And just remember, when you feel sad or don't think anyone cares, your Heavenly Father loves you. And I love you too.
Tuesday, September 15, 2015
Thursday, September 3, 2015
The power of autonomous spreads-
You are thinking little of salad dressings at this moment and wondering what a magical nymph would possibly eat on their salad that could be autonomous.
Can you eat salad dressings on sandwiches, not unless you count mayonnaise, which is just silly, because it's not a dressing. It's a condiment. And can you really say mayonnaised bread is wearing a dress? I say nay.
However, have you ever gotten a hold of pesto sauce? You can utilize the heck out of pesto. How about lemon curd? Honestly, any dressing you could drink straight from the jar seems more of a dessert to me.
Yes, I'm still talking about lemon curd. You can spread that juice on bread, over desserts, drop it in curried carrot soup (a la Canute) or even eat it plain. Albeit, what sort of person would just eat it by the spoonful? You must admit, it is just like eating a drab of lemon meringue pie without having to make an entire pie.
Italian dressing can be used in green salad, but also in pasta salad and to braise chicken. Mustard is also a good way to prepare chicken- surprise surprise.
In my own modest home we don't eat a lot of salad. In fact, last week we only ate half of the round of jello prepared and finally washed the leftover crust from the pan after the hemming and hawing over wastefulness had been put to rest. Those were inner hemming and hawings, Charles would never hesitate to throw away a shriveled apricot left in a dried piece of jello. Few would have that hesitation. Thanks Mom.
This past week, in a celebratory gesture welcoming change, happiness, and the beginning of new adventures, we ate at Olive Garden. I believe we received the gift card we used as a Christmas present two years ago. Thanks Jenny! We looked up a coupon for a free appetizer on his phone and went inside.
Charles was startled when I asked if he'd like to take our food to go, because then we'd save money on a tip. Listen, I was just trying to be frugal. However, after seeing his face, I reconsidered and we had a nice dinner on the town.
We started with some lovely fried artichokes, followed by soup and breadsticks. We tried to manage our food intake the best way possible, so we could enjoy eating the main dish while it was fresh. We also utilized the buy one, take one deal. All in all, we still spent some money, but it was nice to be able to go all out and eat a little crazy.
The waitress reminded me of my Alaska friend Krista. She did a great job. After we ate, we took a walk and then went out for froyo afterwards. Thanks for those gift certificates Michelle! We were going to share one, but it turns out I and the Mr. like different things in our froyo. So we ended up getting two and I had Charles finish mine. So we should probably have just gotten one. Oh well.
You're probably thinking all we do is eat. Well, you're wrong. We eat and watch movies. Now you can be satisfied that you know our goings on. Lately, I've also been reading all manner of books. Charles has also been tracking parts for and building his robot. Which is actually just as interesting as it sounds, because as you know, Robots are cool.
We started Scouts yesterday and went swimming this weekend. We also went to the beach Saturday, ate some corn, and played some ultimate frisbee. We missed you Don. We didn't play for long, as it was getting dark and the water was coming up. We found a frisbee!!! And then the guys with the cooler that passed us playing with our other frisbee stole it. Jerks. My one consolation would be if it actually had been their frisbee that got lost and then found, but that's a long shot. We'll just say that was the truth, even if only to make ourselves feel better.
Can you eat salad dressings on sandwiches, not unless you count mayonnaise, which is just silly, because it's not a dressing. It's a condiment. And can you really say mayonnaised bread is wearing a dress? I say nay.
However, have you ever gotten a hold of pesto sauce? You can utilize the heck out of pesto. How about lemon curd? Honestly, any dressing you could drink straight from the jar seems more of a dessert to me.
Yes, I'm still talking about lemon curd. You can spread that juice on bread, over desserts, drop it in curried carrot soup (a la Canute) or even eat it plain. Albeit, what sort of person would just eat it by the spoonful? You must admit, it is just like eating a drab of lemon meringue pie without having to make an entire pie.
Italian dressing can be used in green salad, but also in pasta salad and to braise chicken. Mustard is also a good way to prepare chicken- surprise surprise.
In my own modest home we don't eat a lot of salad. In fact, last week we only ate half of the round of jello prepared and finally washed the leftover crust from the pan after the hemming and hawing over wastefulness had been put to rest. Those were inner hemming and hawings, Charles would never hesitate to throw away a shriveled apricot left in a dried piece of jello. Few would have that hesitation. Thanks Mom.
This past week, in a celebratory gesture welcoming change, happiness, and the beginning of new adventures, we ate at Olive Garden. I believe we received the gift card we used as a Christmas present two years ago. Thanks Jenny! We looked up a coupon for a free appetizer on his phone and went inside.
Charles was startled when I asked if he'd like to take our food to go, because then we'd save money on a tip. Listen, I was just trying to be frugal. However, after seeing his face, I reconsidered and we had a nice dinner on the town.
We started with some lovely fried artichokes, followed by soup and breadsticks. We tried to manage our food intake the best way possible, so we could enjoy eating the main dish while it was fresh. We also utilized the buy one, take one deal. All in all, we still spent some money, but it was nice to be able to go all out and eat a little crazy.
The waitress reminded me of my Alaska friend Krista. She did a great job. After we ate, we took a walk and then went out for froyo afterwards. Thanks for those gift certificates Michelle! We were going to share one, but it turns out I and the Mr. like different things in our froyo. So we ended up getting two and I had Charles finish mine. So we should probably have just gotten one. Oh well.
You're probably thinking all we do is eat. Well, you're wrong. We eat and watch movies. Now you can be satisfied that you know our goings on. Lately, I've also been reading all manner of books. Charles has also been tracking parts for and building his robot. Which is actually just as interesting as it sounds, because as you know, Robots are cool.
We started Scouts yesterday and went swimming this weekend. We also went to the beach Saturday, ate some corn, and played some ultimate frisbee. We missed you Don. We didn't play for long, as it was getting dark and the water was coming up. We found a frisbee!!! And then the guys with the cooler that passed us playing with our other frisbee stole it. Jerks. My one consolation would be if it actually had been their frisbee that got lost and then found, but that's a long shot. We'll just say that was the truth, even if only to make ourselves feel better.
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