Castles in the sand-

My life is filled with castles I've built in the sand. It's getting worse as I get older. When I find promising relationships, I usually spit on them figuratively and ruin my chances. It's a good thing to know, but hard to change. I'll work on differentiating my relationship patterns after my mission. We'll see what happens.

On a different note, I slit my wrist on a rock this week. I was picking berries and fell into our ditch. I caught myself in such a way.. I'm impressed my veins weren't severed. But I could see them and wanted to throw up. I tried taking a picture of it today and it wouldn't turn out. Ridiculously enough. 

I like taking pictures of injuries because it makes me feel validated with my injuries. These injuries happen less often with me than others. It's a good thing because I almost threw up when I cut my wrist and it wasn't even a bad cut. It was an ugly scratch.

I'm in charge of designing the CES bulletin board. I've crushed some cans, cut out some stars and an egg crate and whatever else I could think of. I'll try and take a picture of it...if and only if it looks good.

If it looks terrible, I'll work on it longer and if I can't make it look good, I'll certainly cry myself to sleep. Either way, the bulletin board needs some spice and it's my new project. I also need some interviews taken care of for my mission, I'm working on it.

I like snickers bars. I also like Baby Ruths. Who knew they were so delicious? I found out today when I was starving at Temsco. I was waiting to pick up people flown down from the mountains. They were stranded in the fog. 

Last week we had softball practice and my slit wrist hurt. I kept slicing through it with my other hand. My batting became tentative and I couldn't hit anything. Terrible. We play in a week. We may win, but only if my wrist is healed by then. I dislike injuries.

On the love vibe, did I tell you what I did? In case I didn't, I will tell you again. I was washing buses and told a boy I live and work with he was a love cowboy. I also told him to tell me we could never date so I could get out of my supremely awkward zone. He said he didn't think he needed to tell me that. Turd. Anyway, I'm no longer following him with my mind.

Second episode happened yesterday on my run. I was running with another boy, Nick, in my house and I asked him if he liked me. He said no. Then he asked me why. He talked me into circles and I realized it would never work. So I told him I liked him. He told me I can't hit on every boy I meet. Oops, but I certainly want to.

We then talked about my boy issues and he told me to stop ruining my life with my methods. I'll have you know my methods are working well for me these days. I can't handle a relationship right now, and I'm unable to keep away without extraneous efforts. Therefore, the "I like you" talk. 

You'd think I could just ignore my interest in males, but alas, I cannot. My mind seems to trail these interests like a slug on berries. Thereby halting all useful activities. When I become a workaholic for eternity, then will I be fulfilled. I'm pretty sure.

In other news, I heard Jake from the Bachelorette was working at Temsco here in Juneau and I got alarmingly excited about it. Unfortunately, I've always looked at myself as some kind of Sheera when it comes to celebrities. I always thought about them as regular people doing regular things. When I heard the coincidence of Jake working at Temsco, I was sooooo excited. I almost peed myself. As it happened, the girl who told me this news is a recreational liar.

I should have known, she tells people she's from New Zealand all the time. I thought we were friends, I thought I was immune. I'm so gullible. I need me some bread. I need me some fruit. I have FHE tonight. It's 6:30. It doesn't start until 8. I can't wait.