Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Weirdies united-

First, I want you to read this article about colonizing Mars: Chumps. The summary: there's a project in the works, planned by a Dutch company, which will cost 6 billion dollars to put 4 earthlings on Mars. Its estimated launch is 2018, would take 3.5 years to arrive, and participants could never come back to earth. 

Ok, now you're ready to read this blog. 

Are you kidding me? 200,000 people applied to be one of the four sent to Mars for the rest of their lives? Here's why I could never ever do that.

1. I like people: I have lived many places and met tons of people. How could I possibly live a planet away from all those people I know and love. Plus, there are so many more people I haven't met yet. This world is full of them. Mars= 0 new people besides my 3 comrades. If you can't stand the three other people you're sent with you will be miserable and lonely for the rest of your life. Have those people never seen Survivor? You'd have to be a +1 max introvert to go on this mission. Like a person who hides in the woods to be alone. 

2. I like warmth: I think to prepare these people, they should send them to Antarctica for 6 months. Everybody knows Antarctica is miserably cold and Mars is a whole heck of a lot further away from the sun than Antarctica. Maybe chuck polar bears at them until they've recovered pieces of their sanity.

3. I love my family: I've been away from relatives for years at a time. It's hard to stay away from everyone you know. Even friends. Can you imagine never seeing anyone again? Ever. Even for science. Don't get me wrong. It could be cool for a little while. 60 years? You'd have to really sell me on that one. Who hates all people and all animals? Send them away. We can't have that kind of person around here.

4. Boredom: If you're going to be away from everything for 60 years, you'd better pack some paperbacks. I'm talking serious games, movies, material, project supplies, and pray nothing essential is forgotten. Someone forgets the scissors and you're screwed for life.

5. I like comfort: Can you imagine having cancer, a baby, or diabetes on Mars? I know they'd screen for that before everyone left, but sometimes things happen when you're bored. Age happens. You'd have to be a serious scientist nut to go, because excitement will have to pull you along for a long time. Yippee hooray for science.

6. I love Earth: I love flowers, trees, animals, warmth, water, being outside. I love people, wind, the ocean. Mars is a cold desert. There's no ice cream on Mars. I've never been there, but I'm going to assume you're going to be eating lots of powdered, canned, and freeze dried food. Just eat your powdered spinach, you don't want to get Scurvy on Mars. 

7. Life is long: I know I mentioned this previously, but 60-70 years with three people I can't stand does not sound ideal. I suppose if you get along with them, that could work for a while. If I brought my wonderful husband, we could have lots of adventure time. Sorry lovey, I deny your request to move to Mars.

Ok. As long as those volunteers fully understand the huge commitment that no normal person would ever agree to. I might even watch the reality show they made out of it. I don't want them to fail. I just don't want them to go psycho crazy because of the other planet prison they agreed to be sent to. 

Charles, if you applied for us to go to Mars, and we got picked, I would cry every day. I would sure miss you. 

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