I want to be a witch-

For Halloween. I don't want to be some other weird thing. Everyone knows a witch is a great costume for a mommy. I'm no mommy, but I'm sure everyone wishes I were. Someday. Don't worry, we'll have beautiful babies for show, at the latest, in 2030.

Charles wants to be Batman. For realzies though, not just for Halloween. He saw a video where this guy talks like Batman to torture his wife and he loved it. So he was doing that for a little while. Once in a while for me is great, but when he was doing it all the time it freaked me out a little bit. He loves this talent of his. He liked to talk in that voice to Kitty because she wasn't scared of it, she just smiled up at him like he was the sanest person out there. She's a baby. She doesn't know.

I sometimes wish I could do cool deep voices. My voice was not made for such things however. So I will have to be content with my shrill voices. Witches have shrill voices. See what I did there?

Now, I will need a pointy hat. I can probably use my brown boots. Do witches wear brown? Well, I'll be a cowboy witch. That's not something you see every day. I will capture the cat that keeps digging in my garden. I will put it in my giant bird cage and make Charles carry it around. He is the best husband ever. Batman loves cats anyway. Didn't he marry Cat woman? I guess it does matter what kind of cat, but I am a little older and I graduated from BYU. So Cougar it is.

We have to bring some candy. We will trade out the sugar, teeth decaying candy from our house and maybe score some chocolate to bring home with us. We don't have any kids though. Perhaps we can borrow one. We should just worry about building up our carrot stick hoard. I'll put Charles in charge of that.

Speaking of sticks, I could bring my broom. It's not a fancy witch broom. Who cares? If anyone asks me about it, I will turn him into a toad. Then I will feed him to the cat. That'll teach him to not ask silly questions.

I don't think face painting is allowed. Thank goodness. Face paint always makes my face itch. I painted my face once for a BYU football game and by the end, I wanted to scratch my face off. I will also make my hair look a little crazy. Perhaps put a couple barrettes in it? Thanks, I will do that. I'll just do it how I usually do it.

Ok, we are making chili and that's a wrap. Or is it rap? We should do a Halloween rap. You dig? Aw Snap. Busta Cap!!! Witches.