Lefty toilets-

I have never noticed before today, but the lady's room at my office has a flusher on the left and the men's room has a flusher on the right. What in the world?

You are probably wondering what I was doing in the men's room. Well, that's a great question. Anyway, back to the point. Why in the world are the flushers on different sides for men and women? I'm not lefty, but I am glad our lady flushers are located on the left.

Some people like change. I love change, but it's in an owl on my dresser ie. chest of drawers. As I say it, the chesterdrawers. Obviously that is the correct way to say it. Who in their right mind would just say dresser with such an interesting substitute resting on the tip of their tongue. Granted, it is quite difficult to say multiple times in a row, but who does that? Nobody does. And everybody dislikes nobody. So there. 

Aside from the button conspiracy, belts are also opposite for men/women. Truth be told, I belt my waist as a man. Clearly I was taught at a young age to be ambidextrous. There is no other explanation for it. Why do belts look like snakes? Or why do snakes look like belts?

I am also a lefty at pool. Congratulations people, you are in the company of a gifted friend. Clearly if you read my blog, you are my friend. Welcome, friends. Welcome also my enemies, who are looking into all my devious and deciduous plots and deciding when to spring your counter plots. Well, cheerio and add some milk, because the day is young and I'm wearing a striped shirt today. Plus, spring is a good time to foil deciduous plots, because the winter is over and summer is afoot. 

Now, I use the men's room here when the women's room is occupied, because I don't want to have to walk to the end of the hall or downstairs to all the other unisex bathrooms in the building which are not specifically labeled. I do say, wot wot. Who cares what the label says if it's a single person use bathroom. I would hope nobody is using the door sign as an excuse to pee on the seat- if you'll pardon my French.

In other bathroom news, we've put coffee grounds- from my work- on the garden bed, brushed the top of the fence with grounds, and covered the dirt with nothing but net- and we're three days without a cat digging in our garden. Hooray and hallelujah. I saw a tabby around our place the other day. It was right by my parking spot and I figured it was probably The One. You, orange tabby, get away from my garden.

Last week, I looked through a couple forums to see what to do about our cat problem. One person wrote concerned about their neighbor's newly placed fence spikes. I was impressed by the neighbor's creativity. However, the person posting was concerned about the spikes harming her cat. Clearly she does not understand the point. Keep your cat out of your neighbors' yard.

I was also surprised by the sheer number of cat lovers befouling said neighbors' ingenuity, each in agreement that such cruelty was atrocious. Those spikes could seriously wound the writer's cat and encouraging her to send any vet bills caused by the fence to her surly neighbor. I was alternately delighted to read a comment by another guy saying if her cat was planting feces in his garden, he would do more than put spikes on his fence. What a hilarious bunch of comments. Come on people, don't be dumb. Take care of your cats. 

I have dedicated some of my extra writing time to edit my book. Some of you have read it. It's called Memoirs of a Playa. I thought I had put it someplace on my blog, but I could not find it anywhere when I looked for it today. I'm on page 23 of 62 pages. Believe me, it is high time I edited this baby again. Then maybe I can send it out to readers and publishers and whomever wants to make my writing dreams come true. 

I have a friend, Heidi, who is getting a work of fiction published. Congratulations Heidi! I know your book will be great! Editing is such a pain and totally worthwhile. Even as I am editing, I feel the book getting more interesting and refined. Of course I do, I'm writing it. Anyway, I have added a couple things Heidi suggested and am working to increase my readership so I can prove people would actually buy the book. You would buy the book wouldn't you? I have been thinking of changing the title to Awkward Begets Happiness. 

It's just a huge story fest. Mostly they're awkward dating stories, but some are just awkward stories. You know how my life is, chalk full of weird. I'm beginning to think perhaps 40% of those situations were of my own volition. Maybe when I get closer to finishing my grand edit, I'll post a story or two on here and fuel your interest. I mean, come on, it's already 62 pages and it is not even double-spaced.