Monday, August 26, 2013

To the guy who Shmarles well-

You know who Shmarles well? Charles Ward. When he doesn't shave, he's very Shmarmy. It's nice. Like a pirate. Charles, you make a great pirate. 

Today, I've been married to a pirate for exactly a month. I didn't know a month could go so fast. There it went, and here I am. Still happy, still alive. Charles, as Jasmyn would say, you are ideal. 

This doesn't mean you win, ideal husband. It just means I have to step up my game a little bit. To my readers- he's super duper nice to me. He has great hygiene. He cooks. He cleans. He decorates. I know, how long can it possibly last? One month down. Then we might not have any more decorating. 

Don't tell anyone, but sometimes he cries. Honestly, I'm just grateful he was patient enough to let me snatch him up before he was on the market floor. I feel like I got him from the warehouse, before they even shipped him to a store. It's like I'm a perfect man snatcher. And he found me. Have you ever seen that movie? Where the toy found the kid? That's me. Thanks Charles.

Congratulations to us! Cherilee is still smoking hot! Speaking of smoking, 

there's a girl smoking on my bathroom schedule. Every time I go to the bathroom, she's smoking. First I thought she was always smoking. Then I realized, quite recently, that she is probably just on the same schedule as I am. So she probably thinks, "Wow, that girl goes to the bathroom a lot". Same as I think she smokes a lot. Imagine that. 

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