Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Prince: The Case of the Troubling Bones

Well, one trouble bone. Prince, as you well know, is the dog. He is a one year old golden retriever who loves wrestling. He loves to eat more than he loves to wrestle. If you touch or approach him while he is relishing any kind of food or bone he will snarl at you.

Yesterday I gave him a bone. I sat in the house reading my book, coming out every half hour or so to check on him. A couple neighbor kids came by to pet him, and were warned of his aggressive nature in respect to his bone. Most of the time he was just sitting in the grass, gnawing his snack.

He chewed that bone all day yesterday and loved it. It was a buffalo tibia bone. To be perfectly honest, I'm not sure what kind of animal this particular bone originated from, but small it was not.

This morning, at 5 am, the dog was howling. I had no conception why he would howl in such a way, besides bladder control. On my way into the bathroom, my senses were assaulted by a vile stench. It was similar to the stench we experienced Sunday. (Sunday he made three doggy doo piles inside the house. Apparently he needs more time outside. It was cool this weekend. I had a bunch of kids to watch, I didn't walk him. I let him lounge outside, ok?) Panic stricken, I ran him outside and he had a couple pools escape his inner experience. Princey has sensitive innards.

We returned once he was completely emptied. Because of the smell and Prince's hesitancy to get into his box, I peeked my head in and lo, two piles of poo sitting inside. No wonder he wouldn't get back into his box. I cleaned them out, opened the window, put the dog in his box, and went back to sleep as Prince barked his head off. He does that a lot.

At 6, I got sick of the incessant barking and went back into the bathroom to deal with him. In an hour, when sick, you can trench out quite a few gullies. Prince needed to fill some gullies. He urgently ran outside and relieved himself numerous times. I then took him out back, tied him to a tree, and tried to clean up the soup in the bottom of his cage. Yes, he had been completely ill in his cage again. This time for liquid real. Stomach flu smells and such floated through the bathroom. 

I opened all the windows on the first floor, took his cage out back and hosed it down. I cleaned the carpet spots he had left, running outside to relieve himself after standing for an hour in his own filth. I put the bathroom rugs into the wash and disinfected the bathroom floor. 

It was then 6:30 and I had to get up in 30 min anyway to wake the boys for school. Worthless. So I checked the online articles reviewing celebrities and their bad hair- this criticism stemmed ruthlessly from midsection parts and the writer was completely rude. It's hard to look good all the time. I mean yeah, I do it, but not everyone is so lucky.

I rode 15 miles with the running group and was headed to the commissary for milk and fruit with Kristen...when I heard the news. You don't know what happened? Oh, they're saying Prince bit somebody yesterday? What kind of fly paper!? Nobody ever told me about that!

So we went to an office, were sent back home, and told to put the dog into quarantine for the next 10 days. That means he cannot go outside for anything but potty for the next week and a half. And I guess maybe a walk so his legs don't fall off. Just in case he has rabies. Apparently rabies is transferred by bats here. 

And that's how it's done. How to have a cataclysmic weekend part I. If Tuesday still counts. I'm just linking it to Sunday..when the four year old, Chris had a fit. He wanted his socks to be on before he would get into the car. We didn't have time to humor him.

So I grabbed his shoes, my shoes, my earrings, my scriptures, the CTR lesson, him, and jumped into the car. We would have been ready earlier, but I had to clean up two piles of doggie doo on the stairs (I found the third pile in the laundry room Monday), and he got out twice that morning. TWICE! That means Prince ran outside and we had to chase him down in the neighbor's bushes.

Chris stopped crying about halfway through the ride and started screaming again when we got out of the car. I think it was separation anxiety. He screamed for a full 15 minutes before a friend came upstairs to the room we were locked in and asked Chris if he wanted to see her new baby. It was a miracle.

On the up side, I think the boys are really starting to enjoy story time before bed. Also, we have been eating the most delicious dinners of my life the past two weeks. I don't know what is so inspiring, but so far we've eaten: Cream puffs, apple crumble, oatmeal choc. chip cookies, cinnamon rolls, spinach enchiladas, stroganoff, lasagne stuffed noodles, stir fry, pizza. Man, my slim eating has been devastated. I'd forgotten how grand it is to eat real food. Or maybe I just realized it on my Eurotrip, but wow, it's great to eat all this good stuff.

On a side note, I'd like to apologize to anyone who felt slighted by my tricky test on facebook. I have realized many of the questions are quite confusing. I put many questions with several right answers on the list. Deane has listed off all the reasons why she should have gotten 100%. I mostly just like writing up lists about myself, so now that's completed...I hope it did not frustrate anyone unduly.

1 comment:

Rachelle said...

Wow, Merilee! That story was quite disgusting! However, it was so very grand to hear one of your stories again! I believe I will read on and spend many more minutes in the random life of my dear friend! I miss you!