Have you, as I, ever sat in the darkness of night and wondered at what lies behind those shadows of fear. But soft, what beyond such filmy shadows cannot be uncovered after one, desiring sight, opens the blinded eyes erstwhile bursting with the wondrous knowledge such opening uncovers?
And lo! I catch a glimpse!
Faithless as fears make us, here is a list of unfounded fears and what I learned from blasting them into space, then walking confidently into the light. Let us banish such trolls and periwinkle killers of light, growth, and development. You have no power over me, fear! I take no part in your ugliness and evil designs over my happiness.
1. Thumb sucking- I was quite sure my life would not go on without my nighttime comfort routine. And yet, here I am. Surprise! I stopped that business in 2nd grade and am still going strong. Although once or twice, I did try putting my thumb back in there, just to see if it was as good as I remembered it being. Nope, still just a thumb.
2. College- After deciding I had to go to BYU, due to tradition and a few exceptional fellows I had met that had gone to said school, I had some bouts of worry about not getting in. Thanks Trigonometry. You are the worst! I did not get an A in that class, but I did cry about it quite a bit. I spit on you, fears about not getting into college. I got there, I graduated, and I married a master of math.
3. Food- Strangely, on my mission, I had an overwhelming aversion to continually eating beans and eggs. There came a day in which I decided just couldn't do it anymore. I thereby transferred to eating mostly fruit for every meal. I feared I would never have any desire to anything besides fruit again. Look at me now, trouncing any food I can get my hands on.
4. Mission- I had several gaping worries about serving a mission. I'd heard they were really tough and I cried quite a bit during and after my mission. I'm not sure what the central fear was, but part of it was my inability to see what hardships lay ahead. Being unable to plan for them beforehand was another part. Despite learning a new language, having some hard times, and being surrounded at all times by cockroaches, I am still alive. And may I say it, better off by more than half.
5. Hair- When I was younger, I had many crying times dealing with my hair. I often worried that I looked too masculine because of how it was cut. I would then cut it again, style it times a million, and sob pitiably about how terrible it looked to anyone who would listen- whether they cared or not. I have finally figured out that braids solve any problem a person could ever have with their hair. If your hair is long enough to braid, and you're a female, you should do it. Oh yes, and I discovered hair spray.
6. Marriage- I have been boy crazy since birth. I'm positive most of you know what I'm talking about. I had crushes on every boy I ever met. And yet, somehow, I married the coolest, most perfect man I could have ever designed for myself. What are the odds of that happening? In fact, he has often told me he didn't marry me in spite of my craziness, he married me because of it. Now that's love.
7. Babies- If you do not understand this fear, you are a taco. How could having a baby grow inside of you not be terrifying? Especially with sickness and bigness to boot. I'm not having a baby tomorrow, but someday I will. The only way I can possibly go through with making a tiny person come from inside of my own self, like an alien in some horror movie, is by looking at pictures like this and hearing stories from my family members about their own adorable kids.
This is a Baby
8. People Loss- Also known as death. If this doesn't scare you, you are not a people. And yet it is a part of our Heavenly Father's plan for us.
9. Armageddon- Can you feel it? I feel it. Maybe store some food. Definitely store water. Some matches, candles, fuel, guns, flashlights, toilet paper. Someday.
10- Two Front Teeth Lossaphobia- I've always been afraid I'm going to fall down the stairs and knock out my two front teeth. I have no idea where that unfounded fear crops from, but it has never been a habit of mine to fall down stairs. I'm just nervous I will, and therefore always go downstairs holding the railing. Such is my wisdom.
11. Money- I've always had enough. Why do you cramp my style fear? We're pretty much millionaires over here.
Now that I've told on fear, it can just flit away. I may still eat fruit and get haircuts, but frankly, it's not my problem anymore.