Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Release the Tiger- To those of you:

As I step onto this soapbox, please realize, I am doing so with full consciousness that none who actually should read this will, thereby nullifying all effect this should have on those personages. If you know of anyone who could benefit from reading this, please refer them to this message. 

From a popcorn eater: To those of you coming for the summer to my ward: Welcome. That said, please realize: I am the steward for the feelings of the sisters in my relief society. If you will only be here for four months and aren't impressed with the girls in my ward, sorry. If you decide to go to church for the right reasons, you ought to be ok. That's all I have to say about that. For now. 

Second. I am eating popcorn right now. Deluxe. I have decided I am what Emily calls an amateur popcorn eater. I often forget to chew my popcorn fully and end up choking on it. Often, or in other words, every time. As an amateur, I can only eat deluxe popcorn or I will choke on it. With all the fancy extras, I have to chew the popped corn to full measure and thereby pass over choking on particulates. 

I dream that one day I will be able to eat popcorn free and clear of additives, otherwise known as poporn, thereby becoming an expert popcorn eater. That would mean I also would be receiving the health benefits of eating popcorn. I know there are some. Unfortunately, those health benefits are not included in the the deluxe experience. Just so ya'll know. Also- if the next big thing is popcorn that flosses itself from your teeth crevices, I won't complain. Nope, not me. 

Here are some pictures Mom. See, I look the same. I am also going to an Oakland A's baseball game tonight. Booyah. Can't wait. 

1 comment:

emilyf said...

I'll make a professional out of you one day!